It has been quite some time since my last blog entry, for us life has just been moving along and we've been doing the life things. I'm sitting in my dining room on a Saturday morning, watching the snow fall outside, listening to the sounds of an empty house and my fingers tapping away on the keyboard, drinking a cup of coffee, alone in my thoughts.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the 2010/11 we had, now that we have come out on the other side (stronger in our relationships with one another) and settling into our 'new' life. I know I have alluded to our recent past as being horrible, but have never gone too much further with divulging information. We hit some pretty hard times in our lives, the economy through out some pretty harsh cards and we left the table with our hats in hand (and that was just about all we had was our hats). During that time, as challenging as it was, I am very proud & grateful for the strength we had as a family unit. We never waivered in our commitment to one another, the love we have for one another and the support we gave one another when some days you just felt like you couldn't go on. We are very fortunate to be together, lots of couples don't survive what we went through, even though in hindsight its small peanuts compared to other peoples stories.
I know your thinking what a 'Debbie Downer' post, but it’s not all like that (I promise). I think when you have a birthday coming up you become very nostalgic, reflect on your past and contemplate your future. Yes, this month I am having a birthday, a significant birthday, I'm turning 40 years old. I don't feel old, as I don't think any age is old, it’s what you make it to be. I don't feel sad about turning 40. I don't feel regret. I don't feel anger. I feel lucky & fortunate & blessed. I have been given the gift of turning 40. I have been given the gift of a beautiful family, an incredible husband, a son that is the light of my life. I've been given the gift of good health. I've been given the gift of food on the table, roof over my head and more 'things' in my life than I'll know what to do with.
Turning 40 years old to me means a new chapter in life, new lessons to be learned, new experiences to be had, new attempts to get things right. It means figuring out what's important and what's not. It now knowing what a mole hill is versus a mountain. It means being thankful for each day your given and dealing with life on a day to day basis. It means eliminating negatives from my life and filling it with positives, hope & happiness. It means watching the world through my son's eyes with sheer enjoyment and delight. It means good old fashion belly laughs. It means stopping to smell the roses. It means appreciating what you are given and knowing what and who are important. It means having more empathy & compassion for people. It means accepting myself. It means letting go. It means living life.
Life is short; it can be snuffed out at any time for any one of us. Go out and enjoy what you have, forget about what you don't have, listen more, talk less, laugh lots, accept yourself, give love, receive love AND just appreciate the life your given, it’s a gift.
Now, I'm off to the bead store, but I'm leaving you with a simple quote.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." ~ Maria Robinson